Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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