Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
