drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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