you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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