you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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