Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
