Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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