wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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