Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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