google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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