Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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