Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My bed smells like the plague
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
