Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
