HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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