3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
