The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
