Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
