sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
being pregnant is like rehab
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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