I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
