i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
