Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
