So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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