drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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