Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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