I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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