Define "chronic" masturbator.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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