He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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