her vagine was all disorganized.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
