I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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