There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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