Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
