I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This gyro tastes like lonliness
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
