What did we do last night that was yellow?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
