she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
do nipples grow back?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
