no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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