I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
