The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
