I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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