just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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