what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
