SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
