...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
