Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
