we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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