i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Damn victory sex feels great
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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