you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
