You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
