She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
