we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
