You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
