I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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