How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
